What is Feminism, Feminist Spoofs, and Victory in Russia

Argus Eyes is probably the most watched MRA on Youtube. Yesterday he posted what I think is his best video ever. Unlike mine, it is polished and of studio quality. Take my word on it, you’ll really enjoy it.

Old School Feminist Spoof Classic from The Onion (2003) called “How Can I Use Feminism to my Advantage”:

“I learned about feminism at least 10 years ago, but at that point, I still didn’t know how valuable it was. Of course, I believed that every woman had a right to an education, proper healthcare, political representation, and equal career opportunities, but I never saw the point in spending my valuable time working for the empowerment of all women.

All that changed when I started school at Macalester College and met Erica. Everyone in the dorm was afraid of Erica, because she attacked the racist and sexist welcome-week party. By the fourth day of classes, Erica was a dorm-wide celebrity. I heard girls talking about her in the bathroom, boys talking about her in the dining hall. Nobody even knew I existed.

What was the difference between Erica and me? You guessed it: feminism. Well, not for long, sister.

Once we became closer, Erica told me that she didn’t care about the stupid luau anyway. She had bigger things to worry about, like defending women against the so-called Right’s war against reproductive liberties. Her work at the Campus Coalition For Women sounded thrilling. I wanted to cash in on the centuries-long subjugation of my gender, too!

Many modern women are afraid to call themselves feminists. I often remind these weak, confused women of the words of Gloria Steinem: “In my heart, I think a woman has two choices: Either she’s a feminist or a masochist.” When I first read Steinem, she awoke ambitions I never knew I had. I wanted to be just like her-powerful, famous, and financially well off.

Since my awakening, I’ve memorized quotations from feminists of all stripes, from Betty Friedan to Susan Faludi. Decades of activists have left persuasive arguments in support of my campus group’s private study lounge in the student union. Hey, whatever works. Take that, International Students Club! Have fun studying in the library, with all the other losers who don’t have a dedicated study lounge.

Not all feminists have this attitude, and I’m relieved. If they did, feminism wouldn’t work half as well as it does. Most of the women in the network are fully committed to eradicating harmful gender stereotypes and redefining sexual archetypes. I am, too, whenever it places me in a favorable social position.

In high school, I was the head cheerleader, but when I got to college, that didn’t count anymore. Thank God I met Erica! She and her friends have taught me the fundament of feminist dialoguing: Nobody wants to be labeled a misogynist. Fewer still want to engage in a heated debate about whether The Matrix Revolutions’ Trinity subverts her meanings to those of the authorized males Morpheus and Nemo-but that didn’t stop me from doing so, loudly, while waiting in line to see Sylvia. And was Erica impressed! The more I educate my peers about the origins of sexist no(men)clature, the higher my position rises.

I’m a real leader in the women’s-studies program and have assumed authority over many women who actually care about universal contraceptive access and gender bias in textbooks. Case in point: I landed a coveted work-study position at the Women’s Health Action & Mobilization office. Meanwhile, my old high-school cheerleading teammate Kelly is working at the deli in the student union, where she’s forced to wear a hairnet. Kelly and I have nothing in common anymore. Can you believe that she’s actually in a sorority? I don’t even talk to her, except for that time I asked her how it feels to be a member of the campus date-rape club. She didn’t have an answer for that. She just handed me my pita sandwich, dumbstruck.

I’m dating Dylan, a woman who volunteers at the Coalition For Gay, Lesbian And Bi Rights For The Homeless. Sure, I’m not really a lesbian, but showing up at Take Back The Night with Dylan captured a lot of attention. When I was in the bathroom stall the other day, I heard two girls I didn’t even know talking about me. See, this feminism stuff works.”

Our guy The Editorialist gets first hand footage of the WWII May 9th Memorial Day celebrations in Moscow. What a job this guy must have. He sees the world! And has brought back beautiful footage indeed.

SKANK and Mangina beater, Amy Winehouse booed offstage during St. Lucia comeback performance: “Amy Winehouse’s Carribbean “comeback gig” was her worst gig ever. Winehouse performed at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival last Friday, but left the stage abruptly when she was roundly booed. Apparently, her performance was just awful. Reports say she couldn’t remember her lyrics–a common complaint at the “Rehab” singer’s gigs. Audience members also said she stumbled around, appearing to be drunk or under the influence of drugs. An official spokesman for the singer said: “Amy would like to express her disappointment that weather forced the abandonment of her show at the St Lucia Jazz Festival on Friday night. Amy and the band tried to soldier on but the set had to be cut short.”
As anyone present would tell you, though, the downpour might have been part of the problem–but Amy was the rest of it. When it started to rain, Amy became distracted, lost her balance, and forgot her lyrics.”
The lesson: ONCE a privileged irresponsible loser, always a privileged irresponsible LOSER.
===

Video on the merging of left-wing blogs and the Mainstream Media. Most of us know the truth of what this fellow is saying already, but I just discovered the guy. He’s doing great work.

Scrappleface on Feminism, and yes, another dug up classic. Scrappleface, along with The Onion, are two of the funniest cites on the web. Here’s a mock article–”Woman’s Right to Starve” added to feminist victories, lol.

“The National Organization for Women (NOW) today held a jubilant news conference to celebrate the latest advance in women’s rights – the right to have your estranged husband choose to end your life.

“First, it was women’s suffrage – the right to vote – then abortion, the right to privacy,” said an unnamed NOW spokesman. “Finally, a man has led the way in freeing us from the antiquated bigotry that has kept our former husbands from choosing a slow, painful death for us.”

The NOW source said the court-ordered removal of Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube, based on the testimony of Michael Schiavo alone has “opened a world of opportunities for women to freely die at the hands of the men they love.”

“The next time you tell your husband ‘I’d rather die than go to that party,’ you can rest assured that your words have legal weight and, if the occasion arises, your wishes will be respected,” said the NOW source. “What’s more, you’re free from the worry that your man will be prosecuted for your murder.”

Michael Schiavo lives with another woman and their two children. He developed this “backup family” according to his lawyer, “to assuage his eventual grief over the coming loss of Terri – the woman he loves to death.”

Legal experts at the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) also praised the “new progressive precedent in contract law.””

My Hero, Daniel Hannan on why the EU is Totalitarian

Here’s a new video series I can’t get enough of–Great Moments in Democrat Racist History. This episode is on Judge Hugo Black. The director is very promising.