This American holiday, the 4th of July, is always bittersweet for me. I adore the beauty of the fireworks and the feeling of unity with other people at the marina. My town provides a parade, street fair, and an impressive show off a barge in the river each year. But I’m reminded that my brother died on July 5th, a brother I wish I’d had more time with. He fell asleep at the wheel while driving to the Los Angeles area after an annual visit to Santa Cruz to watch fireworks over the ocean. He was 19 and I was 17.
Patriotic holidays also remind me how our government has let down many of it’s citizens by disregarding due process in family courts. Time and time again I’m shown cases where evidence was ignored and children were put in questionable care. What I find ironic is that the powers that fight the fathers’ and equal custody movements agree with this point. Of course they do, since this is the root of the problem.
Unfortunately our opposition still promotes the “all women are good and all men are bad” concept. They continue to declare that “95% of all domestic violence victims are female” and that all fathers who fight for equal or sole custody do it as a tool of abuse.
Not only do fathers abuse children less often than mothers, but by far most fathers who fight for sole custody do it because they fear for their children’s safety, and those who fight for equal custody do it because studies show it benefits their children. Many of those fathers have children asking them for equal custody.
I hope you enjoy your day today, on a boat, at a park or at home. I hope you can catch a fireworks show in person, because there’s nothing like the “oh”s, “aw”s and “ooo”s from the crowd to make a person smile.